I’ve had a lot of time to think lately, and I’ve found so many new moms on Instagram. A lot of our conversations seem to be centered on the fact that if we don’t feel guilty for taking time for ourselves, or working, other mothers seem to make us feel that way. And that’s just not ok with me.
I have a full time job. And I love it! I thought when I was pregnant I’d want to be a stay at home mom. But after 4 months of maternity leave, I couldn’t wait to go back to work. I felt a little guilty being so ok with leaving my 4 month old son every day. But I needed space. I needed time to have everything be somewhat like it used to be. Now, do I regret having my son? Not a chance, and if that’s how you took what I just said, you’re who this is for. Being a stay at home mom, is no joke! And I totally mean that 100%. You are so strong, and I couldn’t do it. Going to work is also hard. You miss out on a lot, and there’s some guilt. We are hard enough on ourselves, why do we let others make us feel worse? And if you’re a judging mom, why are you the way that you are?
(Channeling my Michael Scott)
There is absolutely NO NEED for judgement. I decided early on, I didn’t want to breast feed. With going back to work, I didn’t want to have to time to lug all of it to work, and then have to pump at work. Now I did try to pump, and for the first 3 weeks of his life I did. But I didn’t produce enough to sustain him, and the mixing of my breast milk & his formula made his stomach so upset. So he went straight to formula. And you know what?
HE IS HAPPY! HE IS HEALTHY!
He is in the 90th percentile for everything. Now, why am I telling you this? Because I got so much flack from other mothers, men, people who had no business telling me I should breast feed. I got the, why don’t you just try it? Or the you’re going to miss out on that bond with your baby. Or it’s just so natural and good for them why don’t you do it?
Simple answer, I didn’t want too. And that should be enough!
Fed is best. For those who breast feed, more power to you! It’s a tough job, and I applaud you. For those who strictly pump, it’s a tiring & exhausting thing, and again I applaud you.
Why can’t we give mothers who do things a little different then we do a thumbs up? A good job? A keep it up?
We are all exhausted, we are all holding it together by a thread, so instead of finding a negative (in your opinion) boost each other up! We are all in this together, and if we keep tearing each other down, what are we telling our children? Anyone who thinks or does things different then you is wrong?
No, let’s show them how to love and to be kind. In today’s world, we need that now more then ever.
and this concludes my ted talk ✌🏼